Saturday, January 31, 2009

FACEBOOK

FIND US ON FACEBOOK!

Master's Men is now on Facebook! From our Group page on Facebook we will blog weekly, post a discussion forum, upload pictures and video, and post upcoming events. To join just log into your Facebook profile and search for Master's Men. Once on the page click 'Join Group'. You will need a Facebook profile to join. If you don't have one, it is quick and easy to sign up and create and it is a great way to reach and contact your friends. You would be surprised how many people are online! The goal is to create on online community of men on Facebook who acknowledge that they are "Men following Jesus Christ".

AND, to use Facebook as a tool to present the gospel through real conversations by real men. And to invite people to outreach events. The page is adminstered so that only men can join, and only members can view the discussion wall.

This is an EASY way to get updates on the ministry, be engaged in discussion, and help us reach men (your friends) on Facebook and online. If you have questions email mattc@mastersmen.com

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Run To Win


We are excited to offer this new resource. To purchase or shop other resources and materials visit us online at: 

mastersmen.com

Sunday, August 26, 2007

The Boys are Back

 Good news, boys are making a comeback.

At least that is the perspective of a recent article in Time magazine, that bulwark of conservative values and Christian theology. Ok, I am kidding about their perspective but not about the tenor of the article, “The boys are all right” written by David Von Drehle; (8/6/07). And I am happy to hear the news. It confirms my own observation and validates the work many have been doing, through the years, in working on/coaching men. And, starting with boys is the best place.
Here is what’s going on.

It has been popular and justified to worry about the state of males over the last 3 decades or so. If, in the words of Tom Brokaw, the men of the 40’s were our greatest generation, it seemed the opposite was true of the men from the 60’s on. And, according to this article, several things conspired to shift men away from the heroic, admired social position they once enjoyed.

First came an emphasis on equality for women, and rightly so. Women wanted a fairer shake at education, jobs, earnings and other status’ of equality, tiring of the unfair impediments men had placed before them for years. Unfortunately radical feminism took a cue from the gender equality emphasis, and began demonizing men and marginalizing boys. The end result was not healthy for men and their younger prodigy as attested to by such works as “The War Against Boys”. The end result was that many academicians and sociologists began concluding that boys were “scared and disconnected, severely lagging behind girls in both achievement and self confidence” (p40).

Along side of this was a new socio-behavioral theory that men were predisposed to inattention, aggression, risk and lacked teachableness; areas where women were superior to men. From academia’s perspective evolved pop culture’s response - the unisex revolution with hair styles, toys and even educational standards. Men, furthermore, were taught to get in touch with their feminine side. ‘Emasculating” became a buzz word when describing American men.

Then by the 80’s and 90’s we found the prophecies self fulfilling. Boys were far more likely to engage in anti social behavior – and the statistics reinforced the new ideology of female superiority. Men began dropping out of school at an alarming rate – when compared with women. Men were more prone to alcohol and drug abuse, men were more prone to vacate a relationship after impregnating their female counterpart, causing the unwed birth rate to sky rocket. And, of course, we know that men have much larger incarceration rates, suicide rates and mortality rates.

This is one reason why we’ve been targeting men for focused ministry since the mid 80’s. The other being, primarily, the biblical recognition that God has entrusted men with a unique and heroic role in society – that of being the family’s and greater society’s primary providers, protectors and pastors. As men go, we assessed theologically, so goes the family and the state of our nation.

Therefore, I was ecstatic to find that this August 6th issue of Time supported that viewpoint, underscoring the positive results that occur when men are given the proper focus educationally, treated as unique emotionally and physiologically, while being stimulated to historic, inherent heroic behavior. When that is done, men respond successfully.
Also, what is interesting to me, about the Time article, is that it is not coming, necessarily, from a sympathetic view of biblical theology. Their conclusions were drawn from secular researchers, academicians and social scientists. Yet they conclude with what the bible has always prescribed; that men have a unique construction, and, therefore, need to be validated and groomed according to their design so that they can fulfill their unique role in society, as God created them.
Note these comments from the article. P 45: “our boys are doing better because we are paying more attention to them…were giving them more time”. In other words, the researchers discovered what worked for girls 3 decades ago – “a generation of enlightened teaching and robust encouragement has awakened America girls the need for higher education – “women now out number men in college by a ratio of 4-3” - could work for boys – and it has.

For example, the Frederick Douglass Academy, a public school in Harlem, has ”learned that, young people are looking for validation’; according to Gregory Hodge, principal at the school. Hodge says that what he has learned from his educational experience with boys is, “…that boys need room to learn in their own way…that’s what makes a boy, they’ve gotta experiment, learn the hard way, that his head won’t break concrete. Male students tend to want to find things out for themselves – so why don’t you use that as a teacher?

The Falling Creek Camp for boys in North Carolina is another proving ground for the renewed emphasis on male uniqueness as well as the use of constructive programs for developing boys. Margaret Anderson, a pediatric nurse from Nashville and member of the faculty at Vanderbilt, who works there, says this; “When no one’s looming over them, they learn to take responsibility for themselves and their emotions, they start leaning self discipline, self confidence and team building, if we don’t let kids work through their own problems we get a generation of whiners”.

Von Drehle summarizes past movements meant to engage men and heighten their sense of responsibility by stating as examples the following – “In France, Pierre de Couberin, starting the modern Olympic movement; in Britain, Robert Baden-Powell, who founded the Boy Scouts”, etc, - concluding that “all these reforms share a common impulse, to return to the basics of boyhood, quest, competitions, tribal brotherhoods and self discovery. There was a recognition that the keys to building a successful boy have remained remarkably consistent…boys need mentors and structure but also some freedom to experiment. They need a group to belong to and an opponent to confront”.

And what are the results of all this “new emphasis” on training boys unique to their design? All the negative social indicators are in reverse; graduation rates are up, college enrollments are up, drinking and elicit drug use is down and sexual activity in high school is down. That suggests a trend worth applauding, learning from and repeating. Fortunately there are some good resources out to help us do just that.

One recent positive addition to the collection of “how to raise boys right ” school of thought, is the best selling book, The Dangerous Book for Boys, by brothers Conn and Hal Igguiden. This enchanting volume, gives us many warm and wonderful instructions for boys. It is filled with, not only, sound teaching of many of life’s necessities – “grammar, how to treat a girl and astronomy, but other points of interest too; like the worlds seven wonders, famous battles, and explorers. But perhaps the best instructional parts are the following; “the golden age of piracy, how to make a tree fort, how to make a go-kart and “essential gear” which includes the obvious “got to have” for all boys; namely, a Swiss army knife, a compass, a box of matches, fishhooks, etc”. this book reminds us all of how unique and wonderful God made boys.



Boys are, to quote Von Drehle “to be treasured not cured”. I couldn’t agree more. Who doesn’t want to construct a tree fort or swing from a rope into a lake? And what about making a radio or learning how to use a knife or learn to make a coin disappear? This book, as the article exclaims, “celebrates the curiosity, bravery and respectfulness of boys and I believe gives each of us males a renewed appetite for challenge, discovery, fun and camaraderie. It vindicates our unique design, our unique perspective and pursuit of life.

Von Drehle concludes one section by saying this “Men and boys today are the same as they always were…you want to be self-sufficient and find your way by the stars”.

And that is our joyous challenge in The Master’s Men ministry. We seek to treasure manhood without becoming chauvinist, to coach men to excellence in Christ not denude them of their masculinity. It takes patience, a sense of humor and forbearance – but it is well worth the effort.

When we, as a ministry, do that well, we discover exemplary males who work to build strong stable families and fight to defend them with all their resolve. Fortunately for our world, Christian men, living unapologetically for Christ, result in better neighborhoods and communities – a better country.

That is our satisfaction at the Master’s Men.

Thanks for being a part of it.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Walking with King



King is our black Labrador retriever. He is about a year and a half old.

I just got back from a walk with him and I have to tell you its finally gotten fun. I am able to enjoy our time together more now. I trust him, I don’t have to keep a constant eye on his every move or command him every second of our walk, “come here boy”, stop”, “don’t”, etc.

Now, I tell him what to do and he does it. He sits when I command, stays on command. He’ll go forward on my whistle, stop on my whistle, turn right by my hand directions and come when I whistle him back. It’s really pretty cool. We’ve become the envy of many frantic dog walkers!

It certainly wasn’t always that way. Our time together started rather bleakly. King was one of three “throw away” male labs found by the side of a road in Weatherford, Texas. Some cruel dog owner left him and his brothers in the country to die. They were only a couple of months old. Fortunately some loving person took them in and then advertised their availability on the internet. My son was looking for a Lab in order to have a hunting companion; so we went to take a look, led by our son.
When we first saw the dogs they were gangly, skinny and haggard. We chose the one with the blue collar (there was one with red, one with green) because he seemed the most interested in playing with us, so we brought him home. Actually this dog was for my son, but since he didn’t have a kennel at his house the pup, now known as king began his “second life” at our home. Nevertheless, it was my son’s dog so he was required to pay for everything – the food, license, shots and other necessities to secure the dog’s life.

We were all pretty excited to have this new member of the “family” and looking forward to many happy hours of playing, retrieving and hunting with king. However the next morning we woke up to a problem. King was sick. We soon discovered he had the puppy disease, Parvo. It was a life threatening disease and it was evident that king was dying. We were upset about it, but decided to invest in this orphan dog and seek veterinary help. The cure was costly, and not guaranteed but my son nursed king back to health and within a few days we had our bouncy retriever back; panting with his tongue out, a smile on his face and wanting to chase a ball.

But king was completely undisciplined. He would jump on you, not follow if you walked him or come back if you called him. And if he saw another dog, he was gone – long gone. So I bought a leash. But obedience was only six feet long. Though I used every “reward system” of food and love and affirmation known to pet training, I discovered that my big, self willed dog had his own agenda. There was no way I could train him to walk with me, much less hunt with me, by keeping him on a leash and feeding him biscuits. There was no way to release him or he would be out of sight in seconds!
I was stumped. I shared my situation with some guys I knew who bought fully trained retrievers from real trainers and they shared a technological secret with me – the “shock collar”. This ingenious device could be affixed to the animals thick neck and was “connected” by invisible radio wave to a battery operated hand held cylinder that would send a mild “sting” to king if he wouldn’t mind a voice or whistle command from me, the operator! I was assured by the professionals that it wasn’t harmful or cruel and so I decided to try it out.

An amazing thing occurred; our relationship got better. King and I had been walking, with me trying to train him in basic obedience commands, for about 6 months. He did well within a few feet of me but at 20 yards or so he was smart enough to know he could ignore me without reprisal since I couldn’t run fast enough to catch him and enforce my wishes.
In other words, on a short leash I was the boss – but give him some slack and he took over – mostly for his own enjoyment. Wow it was frustrating to have no control over the animal’s behavior. And without control, king was going to have to stay either on a short leash or in his kennel – and that is no way for a Labrador retriever to live!

Well, within a day we had immediate success with the “invisible remote leash”. Just a little buzz at the right time after executing a command and king got the point – I was the boss and he was to do certain things right – or he’d be back on the short leash.

Suddenly our relationship took on a whole new level of accomplishment and fun. King soon became a pro at executing commands during our training exercises and was making significant progress. King was becoming mature! The only time I had to give him more than a gentle buzz was when he excitedly attacked a mom with a baby in a stroller and didn’t understand that he was not allowed to jump in the stroller with the baby! That was the last time he needed my serious intervention. Now king watches me for directions and permission. And when he goes where I send him and doesn’t hear my whistle he knows he’s free to keep doing what he’s doing, working the field around me, for he is on track with me, his master.

And guess what – duck season started miserably – trying to hold a wet lab and on short leach with a shotgun in the other hand was crazy. But it ended wonderfully with my Lab sitting next to me in the blind looking upward in the sky for the reason we had spent so many hours training – ducks, flying into our decoy spread!
How about you?

Let’s reverse the analogy. How is your walk with “King”? Not the black lab, but The King – the one who rescued you when you were sick with sin. The One who nursed you back to health when you were filled with the disease of an unsanctified human nature; i. e. the way you were living? Remember when you had your own agenda for life – even when you were a new Christian?

How is your walk with God, The King, going today – enjoyable, purposeful, effective, successful? Or does God still have to keep you on a sort leash? Are you finally “trained” to look to Him for directions, and then continue by faith until you sense he wants to redirect your paths (Pr 3:5, 6)?

What about that “invisible remote leash”, do you pay attention when you feel a little buzz in your spirit. Does your conscience awaken you to a misdirection, does the Holy Spirit, who indwells you, have the kind of control that He insists is best for the both of you – God’s will and your abundant life?

Some of us still act like untrained dogs. We do what we want when we want, go where we please, pester others rudely, and ignore our Master as we live by our instincts rather than His purposeful plan for our lives.
What kind of “God’s best friend” are you – trained or untrained?

God desires an intimate walk with us. He redeemed us for a purpose. Certainly God rescued us because He loves us. God also seeks to train us because of His love too. He will not leave us without the discipline of a purposeful life. Otherwise, we’d all be running around, without restraint, chasing whatever “rabbit” of excitement jumped out in front of us.
God loves us too much to leave us in a kennel and He enjoys us to much to leave us directionless. God wants to walk with us, savoring our relationship in Christ, enjoying each day as partners with purpose.
Walking with king reminded me of that truth.

I have to tell you too, that I got a kick out of the ”trinity” involved in king’s “redemption” and training – me, the father, my son who actually went from our home to save the dog and bring him into our family. Plus, there is that invisible control device connecting me and the dog, despite the distance.

The real Trinity, so often forgotten in our daily walk; the Father who loved us, The Son who went and spent Himself to save us (1 John 4:10), and the Holy Spirit who lives within us, connecting us eternally to God and who daily leads and reproves or applauds as we follow his lead (Gal 5:16).

I don’t know about you, but I am now a little more focused on walking with My King, fixing my attention on Him, moving around by His command in order to please him; wagging my tail in delight that the Master loves me and I get to walk with Him in this world, and in the one to come.

God deserves that. And I get to enjoy that, when I appreciatively obey Him. How about you? Consider this;

Hebrews 12:1-13 (New American Standard Bible)

 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
 
You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin; 5and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons,
        
 "MY SON, DO NOT REGARD LIGHTLY THE DISCIPLINE OF THE LORD,
         NOR FAINT WHEN YOU ARE REPROVED BY HIM; 
    FOR THOSE WHOM THE LORD LOVES HE DISCIPLINES,
         AND HE SCOURGES EVERY SON WHOM HE RECEIVES."

 It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?  But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.  Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness.

 All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.  Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble,  and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed.

Hope you enjoy your walk with The King.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Are Men Still Relevant?



This may seem like a ridiculous question to ask, but I need to. There is enough cultural momentum to ask the question but cultural momentum often goes unnoticed, so the question hasn’t been asked, yet.

And there is enough media momentum to ask the question but to question media darlings by “second guessing” their philosophy, motives and message, typically gets one a black eye; socially. After all, ”they’re just entertainers, we’re their fans and their our icons (idols), so leave them alone, how dare you” – or so goes the rebuke.

But now its official. I finally get to ask the question. Men’s relevance is a matter of statistical doubt.

You may have missed it, but a report is just in that suggests men’s relevance may not be in vogue any longer. The New York Times, reported by Sam Roberts, asks the question – and then gives us a sobering answer, based on new census data – here is the story…

“Who needs a man? Not most women”
“Delaying vows or loving freedom, after divorce, 51% live without spouse”
New York Times, Jan 16, 2007

Let me share a few quotes from this fascinating article then go on to make a couple of points. Here goes …
• For what experts say is probably the first time, more American women are living without a husband than with one, according to a New York Times analysis of census results. In 2005, 51 percent of women said they were living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.
• Coupled with the fact that in 2005, married couples became a minority of all American households for the first time, the trend could ultimately shape a range of social and workplace policies

• "This is yet another of the inexorable signs that there is no going back to a world where we can assume that marriage is the main institution that organizes people's lives,"

• William H. Frey, a demographer with the Brookings Institution, a research group in Washington, described the shift as "a clear tipping point, reflecting the culmination of post-1960 trends associated with greater independence and more flexible lifestyles for women. For better or worse, women are less dependent on men or the institution of marriage," Mr. Frey said. "Younger women understand this better and are preparing to live longer parts of their lives alone or with non-married partners. For many older boomer and senior women, the institution of marriage did not hold the promise they might have hoped for, growing up in an Ozzie and Harriet era."

And, finally this, listen to what some of the women have to say about his trend…
• Carol Crenshaw, 57, of Roswell, Ga., was divorced in 2005 after 33 years and says she is in no hurry to get married again. "I'm in a place in my life where I'm comfortable," said Ms. Crenshaw, who has two grown sons. "I can do what I want, when I want, with whom I want. I was a wife and a mother. I don't feel like I need to do that again."
• Similarly, Shelley Fidler, 59, a public policy adviser at a law firm, has sworn off marriage altogether. She moved from rural Virginia to the vibrant Adams Morgan neighborhood of Washington, D.C., when her 30-year marriage ended.
• "The benefits were completely unforeseen for me," she said. "The free time, the amount of time I get to spend with friends, the time I have alone, which I value tremendously, the flexibility in terms of work, travel and cultural events."
There you have it. At least half of unmarried women are in no hurry to become wedded or even connected to a male. Why is that?

By their own testimony they don’t “need to do that again”. Without a male spouse they enjoy “benefits” such as time alone or with friends, flexibility in career and pleasure”.

And what are the reasons for this migration away from marriage and the spiritual/social institution of two being made one”? Wasn’t marriage God’s idea to eliminate loneliness and make humanity – “happier”?

Well, things have changed, now there are several reasons to opt out of a biblical lifestyle, according to modernists. The new your times article mentions several;
• Several factors are driving the statistical shift. At one end of the age spectrum, women are marrying later or living with unmarried partners more often and for longer periods of time.
• At the other end, women are living longer as widows and, after a divorce, are more likely than men to delay remarriage, sometimes delighting in their newfound freedom
• The culmination of post-1960 trends associated with greater independence and more flexible lifestyles for women."

I would also add the cultural pressure relayed to the masses through media by the many media personalities today, such as those interviewed by “Oprah” or “Ellen” and those in “The View”; who have been proclaiming independence for females for years. And since information forms our mind, and thinking forms our beliefs and beliefs are always acted out in behavior we become what we ingest. As one author expresses it; “since the explosion of radical feminism in the mid-60’s, the importance of men and their roles as husbands and fathers has been under relentless attack.” (Karl Day, Washington watch, Feb, 2000, volume 11 – number 5). And now we see that born out in statistical fact.

However, I believe that the predominant reason women are opting out of long term relationships with men are because of the growing indifference to the needs of women by men. In other words, if men treated women well, that is biblically, it would be hard to convince women to opt for self fulfillment in a singles life style.

The social statistics on men are not very encouraging. I have recorded them earlier, in other writings, so won’t bore you now with the redundancy. But consider the worst of male behavior; family absenteeism, alcoholism, spousal and child abuse, infidelity, homosexuality, workaholicism, and basic criminal behavior and men far and away lead the statistical categories in irresponsibility. And nobody, much less a responsible woman, wants to baby sit an irresponsible adult, especially an offensive male!

Add to that the surge in educational and career opportunities for women, the rise of financially successful women as well as the acceptance, even emphasis for new, social categories such as feminism, divorce, lesbianism and other non traditional life styles and it is no wonder that we finally reached (in only 40 short years) that sociological “tipping point” the Dr. Frey mentions.

What’s the solution? We need an immediate repentance by men, of apathy and neglect; and a resurgence of biblical living – which includes the care and complement of a spouse and family – provide, protect and pastor? Men need to give, care and serve more like Christ.

Men are called to this high and noble position, biblically, as I’ve spelled out in “Man of Honor” and many men fulfill this role, but today we are in an emergency situation where we need men to lay aside personal achievement and make it a mission to reclaim the family.

Men are capable of selfless heroism. And a concerted effort on our part to take care of our relational responsibilities will catch the attention of this watching but cynical world, and once again give us a chance to take our place as relevant.

As example I refer you to Peggy Noonan’s article of October 12, 2001, “Welcome Back Duke”, as she experienced a transformation of viewpoint on men as a result of watching their heroism of the men engaged in the 911 attacks.

I refer you now to a few quotes below as well as to her article, placed on her website in her archives list, so that you may read her article in full – it is worth it. (http://www.opinionjournal.com/columnists/pnoonan/archive/)
“I am experiencing Sept. 11 not as a political event but as a spiritual event.
And, of course, a cultural one, which gets me to my topic.
It is not only that God is back, but that men are back. A certain style of manliness is once again being honored and celebrated in our country since Sept. 11. You might say it suddenly emerged from the rubble of the past quarter century, and emerged when a certain kind of man came forth to get our great country out of the fix it was in. I am speaking of masculine men, men who push things and pull things and haul things and build things, men who charge up the stairs in a hundred pounds of gear and tell everyone else where to go to be safe…

You didn't have to be a fireman to be one of the manly men of Sept. 11. Those businessmen on flight 93, which was supposed to hit Washington, the businessmen who didn't live by their hands or their backs but who found out what was happening to their country, said goodbye to the people they loved, snapped the cell phone shut and said, "Let's roll." Those were tough men, the ones who forced that plane down in Pennsylvania. They were tough, brave guys…
manliness wins wars. Strength and guts plus brains and spirit wins wars. But also, you know what follows manliness? The gentleman. The return of manliness will bring a return of gentlemanliness, for a simple reason: masculine men are almost by definition gentlemen.

It is hard to be a man. I am certain of it; to be a man in this world is not easy. I know you are thinking, But it's not easy to be a woman, and you are so right. But women get to complain and make others feel bad about their plight. Men have to suck it up. Good men suck it up and remain good-natured, constructive and helpful; less-good men become the kind of men who are spoofed on "The Man Show"--babe-watching, dope-smoking nihilists. (Nihilism is not manly, it is the last refuge of sissies.)
Then Peggy admits this, giving every man hope that he can reclaim the honored role of manhood again for our time and for the years to follow. Listen…
“I should discuss how manliness and its brother, gentlemanliness, went out of style. I know, because I was there. In fact, I may have done it. I remember exactly when: It was in the mid-'70s, and I was in my mid-20s, and a big, nice, middle-aged man got up from his seat to help me haul a big piece of luggage into the overhead luggage space on a plane. I was a feminist, and knew our rules and rants. "I can do it myself," I snapped.

It was important that he know women are strong. It was even more important, it turns out, that I know I was a jackass, but I didn't. I embarrassed a nice man who was attempting to help a lady. I wasn't lady enough to let him. I bet he never offered to help a lady again. I bet he became an intellectual, or a writer, and not a good man like a fireman or a businessman who says, "Let's roll."
Gentleman – it is time “to roll”; that is to “ROLE”, to fulfill our role to be the caring, available, serving, head of the household that “loves our wives as Christ loves the church”, “raises our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord”, and “loves our neighbors as ourselves. If we do, we will not only reclaim the family, we will reclaim the testimony that God’s way is best for humanity, as found in a relationship with Christ. And we won’t have to worry about a competitor, a false lifestyle suitor, vying for the affection of our women and eliminating the institution of the family; namely the world.

Men are relevant – we just need to prove it again.